There is a word that describes the profound transition into motherhood, yet many women reach the other side of birth having never heard it.
That word is matrescence.
Just as adolescence describes the transition from childhood into adulthood, matrescence describes the developmental journey of becoming a mother. It encompasses the physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual changes that happen as a woman moves into this new identity.
For many women, discovering this word can feel deeply validating. Not because it changes what they are experiencing, but because it finally gives language to something they may have felt for a long time without being able to explain. There is a recognition that this is not simply a matter of adjusting to having a baby. Becoming a mother is a profound transformation, one that unfolds over time.
The truth is, birth is only the beginning.
Becoming A Mother Is A Transformation
We often speak about postpartum as if it lasts six weeks. Six weeks to recover physically, six weeks to settle into a routine, six weeks until things are expected to feel more normal again. But the reality of becoming a mother is much bigger than this. The arrival of a baby changes so many aspects of a woman’s life: her relationship with her body, her identity, her priorities, her relationships and the way she moves through the world.
The woman she was before motherhood does not disappear, but she may feel far away for a while.
Many mothers know this feeling. The feeling of looking around and wondering, “Where did I go?” The feeling of not quite remembering what brought you joy before you became responsible for someone else’s every need. The feeling of missing parts of yourself that you are not sure how to find again.
For some women, this feeling arrives after their first baby. For others, it comes unexpectedly with a second or third child, when they realise that each baby brings a new version of themselves to meet. They may have thought they already knew who they were as a mother, only to discover that this new chapter asks them to grow and adapt all over again.
Matrescence is not about losing yourself. It is about becoming someone new while carrying all the parts of who you have always been.
And like any significant transition in life, it can hold many emotions at once. There can be deep love alongside exhaustion, gratitude alongside grief, joy alongside moments of uncertainty. There can be a longing for the person you were before, while also slowly getting to know the person you are becoming.
Perhaps the invitation is not to rush back to who you were before motherhood. Perhaps it is to gently discover who you are now.
The Importance Of Support After Birth
This is also why the postpartum period deserves so much more attention and support. During pregnancy, there is often a lot of focus on preparing for birth, making decisions about labour and creating a positive birth experience. And while that preparation is incredibly valuable, the weeks and months after birth are when a mother is moving through one of the biggest transitions of her life.
Postpartum is not only about recovering physically or learning how to care for a newborn. It is also about finding your place in this new identity, navigating the changes within yourself and having the time and space to adjust to a completely new way of being.
Support during this time can make such a meaningful difference. Sometimes it looks practical: someone preparing a meal, helping with everyday tasks, creating space for rest or simply allowing a mother to focus on healing and bonding with her baby. Sometimes support is less tangible but equally important. It can be having someone who understands that what she is experiencing is a normal part of becoming a mother, someone who listens without judgement and reminds her that she does not have to navigate this transition alone.
Many mothers are willing to invest in preparing for their birth, but hesitate when it comes to investing in support after their baby arrives. Yet the postpartum period is a time when a mother’s needs matter deeply too. Seeking support is not a sign that you cannot manage or that you are not capable. It is an acknowledgement that this transition is significant and that you deserve care while you are learning, growing and finding your way as a mother.
A mother deserves care too.
Coming Home To Yourself
Just as we prepare for birth, we can also prepare for the journey that comes afterwards. Not because motherhood needs to be perfected, but because every woman deserves to feel supported as she moves through this profound transformation.
If you are in this stage of motherhood and feel a little lost, perhaps there is no need to rush to find all the answers. Instead, you might gently ask yourself:
What parts of myself am I longing to reconnect with?
What brings me moments of joy, curiosity or aliveness?
Who am I becoming through this experience of motherhood?
You do not need to have all the answers right away.
Becoming a mother is not a destination we arrive at. It is a lifelong unfolding, a continuous process of learning, growing and coming home to ourselves in new ways.
And sometimes, the first step is simply having the words to name where we are.
Matrescence is that word.
With love, Johanna.
