Between Silence and the Online World | Living Fully

Lots of reflection going on here.

I am finding it extremely hard to do the online part of my work since coming back from Satipatthana Vipassana. I have loved seeing my clients in person. I still do in-person sessions, and I have spent as much time in nature as I possibly can.

Still, I need to continue my work online. My business is built to be pretty much just online.

But sitting in front of my computer feels like it is stealing my hours away.

Stepping Back from the Digital Noise

I do a lot of writing and behind-the-scenes work, admin and all of that, and it takes time. Since coming back, I have completely backed off from any kind of social media. I know that is not forever, but for now it is what I had to do.

And yet, I am a person who holds on to what I have promised myself. I promised myself to write an article every week. I don’t really care how many of you actually read it. At this point, it is more for myself. A way to get my thoughts, knowledge, and whatever wisdom is there, down on paper.

The Challenge of Putting Inner Experience into Words

It takes courage to formulate what feels so obvious to me, but is completely new to the reader.

Language is huge.

How we communicate, how we talk, how we write to actually be understood… it matters so much. So many conflicts come from misunderstanding, or from listening through our own lens, our own habitual thinking, our own filtering of what is actually being said. It creates so much unnecessary distance. So many broken hearts and heartache.

The Ripple Effect of Working with People

I often focus on the individual, and the closest people around that person, and I work from there and outward. Because of the ripple effect.

I trust that change starts small. In one person, one family, one shift in awareness. And then it moves outward.

When the World Feels Too Heavy to Take In

At the same time, I find myself almost wanting to throw up when I read the news. I sit there asking myself what is actually going on and why.

I want to believe we are living in a kind world, but it doesn’t always seem like it. Even though on a small scale individual level people I meet are kind. Very kind.

Maybe I am also choosing those people. Maybe I am choosing clients who carry more kindness and in that way contributing to more kindness being created and reflected back again. That ripple effect.

Truth, Uncertainty, and a Changing World

But then I look at world news and all the suffering and I wonder what is actually true.

You can’t even know anymore if what you are reading or watching is real or AI-generated or shaped in some way that removes it from truth. And that is scary. Really scary.

And I guess this is just the beginning.

The Question I Don’t Yet Know How to Answer

The question I find myself sitting with is how do I function in this kind of new world with this amount of information when I no longer even know what is true.

How do you handle that?

It feels like an important question. A scary one. And I honestly never thought I would be asking it.

And I never thought questions around being online and what to do online would even be a parenting question. But now it is huge.

What I Return To

Coming back from silence, I notice how quickly the mind wants certainty. But experience has taught me that not knowing is also a place you can stand in without collapsing. I can feel the discomfort, the confusion, the overwhelm and still return to what is here. Breath by breath. Moment by moment. Not as an escape from the world, but as a way to stay with it without losing myself in it.

I don’t have clear answers to any of this yet. But I do know I can’t meet a changing world from a disconnected place.

So I come back to what is real in front of me. The person I am with. The work I do one human at a time. The small ripple that is actually within my reach.

Maybe that is the only grounded way forward right now not by trying to understand everything but by staying present enough to not lose touch with what is true in front of me.

And perhaps that is where integrity lives now. Not in certainty. But in how we choose to show up anyway.

With love,

Johanna